Am I addicted to writing?
Yes, I am. I write everywhere I go. I write about everything. But I also write a whole lot of shit. See, I'm not that intelligent. I can't argue with the Etonians of this world. There are many things about which I know very little. And there are two totally unrelated topics - and yet, to me, they are related.
See, I like writing books. And I do write about what I know, or about what I think I know (in the case of researching stuff). I like writing dark, occasionally horrific stuff. I like writing about messed-up, middle-aged men, because that's what I am. And even if I'm not living the life of Rob Murgatroyd, Benjamin Beerenwinkel or Danny McIlvoy, I do know what makes them tick, and because I'm a writer with an imagination, I can kind of put myself in their heads and try to work out what they're doing. See, that's the thing. Write what you know. And many of the anecdotes in those particular books were based on things I'd either heard or done ...
So that's a lesson learnt. If you can't use your imagination to completely construct a new world or a situation (such as, in my case, "die Stunde X", or "For the Love of the Devil") then write about a man that could be you.
But here's the thing. I just bloody love writing. And writers are opinionated. We write opinions, and they're not always our own. So occasionally, I will write on somebody else's blog, or somebody else's Facebook, and I will comment, but invariably I find myself out of my depth, either because I'm not as intellectually aware as the people I'm talking to, or because I'm not actually in the "character". See, I don't know about rocket science, or economics, or brain surgery, because I haven't researched it, because I'm not writing a book. I can't get into that character, because it doesn't motivate me.
And trust me, I've got into character a few times. I became Rob Murgatroyd like you would not fucking believe. How can you know about those Internet gore videos unless you watch them? How can you write about being addicted to them unless you become addicted to them? How can you say what your lead character feels like when he's snorted coke or got utterly fucked off his face on alcohol (such as Benjamin Beerenwinkel did in "Besotted") unless you do it? You can't. Sometimes, you have to become the person you're writing about.
I'm writing about Saul Castle now. Saul Castle, he's an alcoholic. He's had a very tough life. Perhaps the only thing I can really relate to is his massive alcohol consumption and the fact that he spends a lot of time thinking about the bad things in his life.
See, what I like about writing about these tough characters is that I can get into their mindset without leading their lives. I didn't lose my wife and children in a horrific car crash like Rob Murgatroyd did, but I could write about him getting coked up and meeting some East End gangster whilst becoming addicted to Internet gore. I didn't get involved in a relationship with a woman who was being sexually, mentally and physically abused by her boyfriend, like Danny McIllvoy did, but I have felt as low as him because of women. And I didn't suffer from cancer or have some young, teenage girl become besotted with me, like Benjamin Beerenwinkel, but I have been (and still am) a struggling writer. Saul Castle, well, I can't even begin to tell you what he's been through, but I'm kind of walking in his shoes. Saul is a nice guy. When you read about Saul, be nice to him. Benjamin Beerenwinkel, he was an arsehole and, I dunno, maybe it's good that he's no longer around - but Saul? I think of Saul as being the part of me that's vulnerable to criticism, the part that has been deeply affected by all of the bad stuff that's happened. In a way, all of my characters, they're my children.
But back to the other part ... addicted to writing.
Lesson to self. Don't get involved in shit about economics or rocket science or generally shit that you know nothing about. At the end of the day, who cares?!
Wednesday 23 April 2014
Sunday 13 April 2014
How's it going?
Well, I'm working on two books at the moment. Firstly, the sequel to alternative history novel "die Stunde X", which will be called "nach Schema F". I'm writing that on my computer, and it's about 38,000 words in. Just under halfway, I think. The first book was a tight, fast-paced thriller. In the follow-up, I'm developing the characters more - my writing style has changed significantly since 1994, when I wrote "die Stunde X". I hope, however, it will still please fans waiting for a follow-up. I've also got an idea for the third in the trilogy, but I don't want to talk too much about that.
Secondly, I'm working on a transgressive fiction book called "Maggie's Children". I'm writing this with pen and paper. I'm about 25,000 words into it, so about a third of the way through it. I write this one when I'm out and about - in a pub at lunchtime, it a pub after work (yes, like most writers, I have a day job). This book is about a guy called Saul Castle, and the friends he met at university. But Saul has had a turbulent past, one he's still, at the age of 45, trying to come to terms with. We meet Saul as he is waiting to attend a friend's funeral, and we follow him as he falls in love again. Along the way, he tells us about his past, about his former wife, Sara, and their children. I think that because Benjamin Beerenwinkel was such a loathsome character, I want to write about someone who is the antithesis to him. Saul is a nice guy. He's also an alcoholic (though he won't admit that - it's that whole 'unreliable narrator' thing going on), but when you finally find out what he's been through you'll forgive him. Basically, it's a tragic love story, and a perfect novel to write after "Besotted". I actually enjoy writing about guys in their forties who have had a shit life - I guess that's because it's a perfect way to describe me.
"Besotted" took me almost 18 months to write, but then there was the whole 'getting mugged' thing to come to terms with. I hope to have the first drafts of both "nach Schema F" and "Maggie's Children" completed by July, but there will be lots more work after that to ensure that they're both fit for readership consumption. I know what you're thinking - you're thinking, "How the fuck can you write two books at once?" Well, at the moment, I'm reading three books - Amis's "Money", Picoult's "The Storyteller", and (for my shame) McNab's "Silencer". I find it easy, and very stimulating, to dip into more than one book at once. And when it comes to writing, it's the perfect solution to writer's block to have more than one book on the go.
I know that "Maggie's Children" is going to be a tough book to write - as challenging and draining as "Besotted" was - but hopefully it will be as well received. "nach Schema F", on the other hand, is just a gripping yarn, a fantasy, something to lose myself in, to not take too seriously.
When these two books are done, what next? Well, I'm 140,000 words (perhaps halfway) into "Dark Satanic Mills", my magnum opus. That's a book that I really want to get finished, and hopefully working on "nach Schema F" will encourage me to open up that particular Word document and get it finished.
2012 and 2013 were shit years production-wise. 2014, I intend to redress the balance.
Keep watching this space.
Secondly, I'm working on a transgressive fiction book called "Maggie's Children". I'm writing this with pen and paper. I'm about 25,000 words into it, so about a third of the way through it. I write this one when I'm out and about - in a pub at lunchtime, it a pub after work (yes, like most writers, I have a day job). This book is about a guy called Saul Castle, and the friends he met at university. But Saul has had a turbulent past, one he's still, at the age of 45, trying to come to terms with. We meet Saul as he is waiting to attend a friend's funeral, and we follow him as he falls in love again. Along the way, he tells us about his past, about his former wife, Sara, and their children. I think that because Benjamin Beerenwinkel was such a loathsome character, I want to write about someone who is the antithesis to him. Saul is a nice guy. He's also an alcoholic (though he won't admit that - it's that whole 'unreliable narrator' thing going on), but when you finally find out what he's been through you'll forgive him. Basically, it's a tragic love story, and a perfect novel to write after "Besotted". I actually enjoy writing about guys in their forties who have had a shit life - I guess that's because it's a perfect way to describe me.
"Besotted" took me almost 18 months to write, but then there was the whole 'getting mugged' thing to come to terms with. I hope to have the first drafts of both "nach Schema F" and "Maggie's Children" completed by July, but there will be lots more work after that to ensure that they're both fit for readership consumption. I know what you're thinking - you're thinking, "How the fuck can you write two books at once?" Well, at the moment, I'm reading three books - Amis's "Money", Picoult's "The Storyteller", and (for my shame) McNab's "Silencer". I find it easy, and very stimulating, to dip into more than one book at once. And when it comes to writing, it's the perfect solution to writer's block to have more than one book on the go.
I know that "Maggie's Children" is going to be a tough book to write - as challenging and draining as "Besotted" was - but hopefully it will be as well received. "nach Schema F", on the other hand, is just a gripping yarn, a fantasy, something to lose myself in, to not take too seriously.
When these two books are done, what next? Well, I'm 140,000 words (perhaps halfway) into "Dark Satanic Mills", my magnum opus. That's a book that I really want to get finished, and hopefully working on "nach Schema F" will encourage me to open up that particular Word document and get it finished.
2012 and 2013 were shit years production-wise. 2014, I intend to redress the balance.
Keep watching this space.
Friday 11 April 2014
Oh Lucky Me
I am fortunate.
I am fortunate in that I am surrounded by creative people. I know writers, film directors, song writers, singers, musicians, actors. All of them, each and every one of them, they create something. Some of them, they might not be as prolific as me, but in each and every case I offer them encouragement. Tonight, one of my friends (who has a day job that is stressful, rewarding, and not always respected) has told me he wants to write songs again. It's been too long. I told him that. I hope he picks up a guitar and starts writing again. I want to hear his work.
This is what us creative people should be with one another. Supportive, cajoling, perhaps even oppressive. Occasionally, creative people need a kick up the arse to remind that a) they have talent and b) they should be using it.
But I am lucky to be surrounded by creative people.
Only the other night, a singer/songwriter came round to see me, and I had some motor racing channel on. He said, "I thought you were leading this Bohemian lifestyle, getting pissed and writing, not sitting there watching racing cars." He had a point. There was me, writing more words on Facebook than in the current books I was endeavoring to write.
But us creative people, we procrastinate, we look for any excuse NOT to create.
We should pick up our pens, our guitars, our pencils and paint brushes, and we should create.
This one goes out to the nameless many ... the people I know.
I am fortunate in that I am surrounded by creative people. I know writers, film directors, song writers, singers, musicians, actors. All of them, each and every one of them, they create something. Some of them, they might not be as prolific as me, but in each and every case I offer them encouragement. Tonight, one of my friends (who has a day job that is stressful, rewarding, and not always respected) has told me he wants to write songs again. It's been too long. I told him that. I hope he picks up a guitar and starts writing again. I want to hear his work.
This is what us creative people should be with one another. Supportive, cajoling, perhaps even oppressive. Occasionally, creative people need a kick up the arse to remind that a) they have talent and b) they should be using it.
But I am lucky to be surrounded by creative people.
Only the other night, a singer/songwriter came round to see me, and I had some motor racing channel on. He said, "I thought you were leading this Bohemian lifestyle, getting pissed and writing, not sitting there watching racing cars." He had a point. There was me, writing more words on Facebook than in the current books I was endeavoring to write.
But us creative people, we procrastinate, we look for any excuse NOT to create.
We should pick up our pens, our guitars, our pencils and paint brushes, and we should create.
This one goes out to the nameless many ... the people I know.
Tuesday 1 April 2014
The Arrogance of a Writer
Someone recently told me that I wasn't as good a writer as J.K. Rowling, and that she's a far superior storyteller. Perhaps she is, if you like stories about schoolboys who happen to be wizards. Personally, I think this person was trying to bring me down to earth.
You see, I write books. I'm arrogant. I think most writers have to be, because there is something quite arrogant and self-assured about writing a book, or even a short story, and then setting it loose in the world so other people can read it and pass judgement. I have to be arrogant, because that way when people say they don't like what I've written, when people criticize my work, or (heaven forbid) tell me that J.K. Rowling is a better writer than me, it never penetrates my thick skin. It doesn't hurt me.
Here's the thing. I think I am as good as J.K. Rowling. I think I'm as good as John Grisham or Stephen King. I think I'm on a par with Charles Bukowski. If I didn't think that, then why would I carry on writing? How could I have written 8 books? And because these people are selling millions of copies of their books, does that mean that their talent is bigger than mine? That they are more talented than the myriad Indie writers tirelessly pushing their work on the Kindle? There is something to be said about a person who writes because they can, rather than because they have a six-book deal with a major publishing house. Sure, these guys are not as polished as the Rowlings and Grishams of the world, but that's because they haven't had their work looked over and, dare I say it (from a writer's perspective), savaged (and polished) by a professional and experienced editor. See, when I wrote my last book, "Besotted", I felt that I had produced the best work I could. Naturally, it has a few frayed edges, but that's what a professional editor sorts out. Without that valuable input, this is how an Indie writer rolls.
I think as I've got older, I've become to care less and less about what people think about me or about my work. I wrote "die Stunde X" when I was 25. In a way, it's a work of young adult fiction. The lead character is in his early twenties, much as I was. It's still my best seller (hence me currently working on a sequel - I think 20 years is long enough for people to have to wait!), and people have said that it's a pretty good story. But I guess it's not as good a story as Harry Potter and the Wizard's Sleeve, because I'm not as good a storyteller as Rowling! Back in 1994/1995, when the book was completed, I might've taken that to heart. But as a 45 year old writer, such criticism is just water off a duck's back. And whilst it might not have the thrills and suspense of "die Stunde X", I'm arrogant enough to think that "Besotted" is a pretty damn fine story as well, one written for adults rather than small children and grown-ups who like to read children's books. And everybody who reads it can remember the name of the lead character. Am I upset when people criticize my books? No. In a way, if their criticism is justified, I love it. I love people talking to me about my books, what they enjoyed, what they didn't enjoy. I'm not so convinced that J.K. Rowling gets such honesty from the people who talk to her about her books - just obsequious sycophants telling her how awesome her latest book is. Me, I like nothing better than getting pissed with someone as they tell me about my last book - in vino veritas, they will tell me what was wrong with it too. Would I ever want to give that up? Definitely not.
Here's my advice to anyone who considers themselves to be a writer. Become arrogant.
You see, I write books. I'm arrogant. I think most writers have to be, because there is something quite arrogant and self-assured about writing a book, or even a short story, and then setting it loose in the world so other people can read it and pass judgement. I have to be arrogant, because that way when people say they don't like what I've written, when people criticize my work, or (heaven forbid) tell me that J.K. Rowling is a better writer than me, it never penetrates my thick skin. It doesn't hurt me.
Here's the thing. I think I am as good as J.K. Rowling. I think I'm as good as John Grisham or Stephen King. I think I'm on a par with Charles Bukowski. If I didn't think that, then why would I carry on writing? How could I have written 8 books? And because these people are selling millions of copies of their books, does that mean that their talent is bigger than mine? That they are more talented than the myriad Indie writers tirelessly pushing their work on the Kindle? There is something to be said about a person who writes because they can, rather than because they have a six-book deal with a major publishing house. Sure, these guys are not as polished as the Rowlings and Grishams of the world, but that's because they haven't had their work looked over and, dare I say it (from a writer's perspective), savaged (and polished) by a professional and experienced editor. See, when I wrote my last book, "Besotted", I felt that I had produced the best work I could. Naturally, it has a few frayed edges, but that's what a professional editor sorts out. Without that valuable input, this is how an Indie writer rolls.
I think as I've got older, I've become to care less and less about what people think about me or about my work. I wrote "die Stunde X" when I was 25. In a way, it's a work of young adult fiction. The lead character is in his early twenties, much as I was. It's still my best seller (hence me currently working on a sequel - I think 20 years is long enough for people to have to wait!), and people have said that it's a pretty good story. But I guess it's not as good a story as Harry Potter and the Wizard's Sleeve, because I'm not as good a storyteller as Rowling! Back in 1994/1995, when the book was completed, I might've taken that to heart. But as a 45 year old writer, such criticism is just water off a duck's back. And whilst it might not have the thrills and suspense of "die Stunde X", I'm arrogant enough to think that "Besotted" is a pretty damn fine story as well, one written for adults rather than small children and grown-ups who like to read children's books. And everybody who reads it can remember the name of the lead character. Am I upset when people criticize my books? No. In a way, if their criticism is justified, I love it. I love people talking to me about my books, what they enjoyed, what they didn't enjoy. I'm not so convinced that J.K. Rowling gets such honesty from the people who talk to her about her books - just obsequious sycophants telling her how awesome her latest book is. Me, I like nothing better than getting pissed with someone as they tell me about my last book - in vino veritas, they will tell me what was wrong with it too. Would I ever want to give that up? Definitely not.
Here's my advice to anyone who considers themselves to be a writer. Become arrogant.
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